bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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