508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
