If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
