You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize