Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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