Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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