There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
