I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
