It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
