We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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