Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
