OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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