How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
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Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
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I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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