Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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