you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
