I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
