Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
