Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
