we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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