I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize