my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize