you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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