I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
