ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her