How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
