Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.

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  (773): before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident. http://tfl.nu/lgcs
  Replies (27) Good night (5072) Bad night (696)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope

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  (214): I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited (1-214): I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope http://tfl.nu/jd28
  Replies (93) Good night (1434) Bad night (7434)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..

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  (870): I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance.. http://tfl.nu/o07j
  Replies (9) Good night (4568) Bad night (582)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.

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  (563): why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth. http://tfl.nu/0ql9
  Replies (23) Good night (796) Bad night (3884)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.

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  (610): Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays. http://tfl.nu/bu0x
  Replies (9) Good night (3629) Bad night (1232)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."

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  (810): My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms." http://tfl.nu/qx21
  Replies (7) Good night (1008) Bad night (3938)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.

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  (301): Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd. http://tfl.nu/3wwu
  Replies (20) Good night (6191) Bad night (1152)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.

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  (561): His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face. http://tfl.nu/pof4
  Replies (7) Good night (2995) Bad night (1039)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it

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  (847): If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it http://tfl.nu/cx6g
  Replies (6) Good night (2153) Bad night (639)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.

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  (630): I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide. http://tfl.nu/564g
  Replies (14) Good night (1114) Bad night (732)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number

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  (206): Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number http://tfl.nu/qktl
  Replies (2) Good night (414) Bad night (296)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on

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  (936): If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on http://tfl.nu/8phy
  Replies (3) Good night (771) Bad night (243)
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  (626): View more from California

  I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet

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  (626): I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet http://tfl.nu/8x4b
  Replies (0) Good night (500) Bad night (237)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.

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  (+61): Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That. http://tfl.nu/q1fl
  Replies (3) Good night (553) Bad night (219)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?

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  (313): Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim? http://tfl.nu/tmf7
  Replies (1) Good night (575) Bad night (208)

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