Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?

  (1-509): View more from Washington

  talent.

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  (509): I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy? (1-509): talent. http://tfl.nu/18h3
  Replies (42) Good night (3700) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?

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  (570): is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs? http://tfl.nu/dpsw
  Replies (21) Good night (4394) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve

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  (937): We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve http://tfl.nu/ierf
  Replies (21) Good night (1115) Bad night (3973)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..

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  (320): so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville.. http://tfl.nu/vgyl
  Replies (38) Good night (1941) Bad night (5430)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  your tears are not going to buy me drinks...

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  (212): your tears are not going to buy me drinks... http://tfl.nu/o6xp
  Replies (14) Good night (1204) Bad night (3839)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".

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  (617): I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues". http://tfl.nu/ykd9
  Replies (13) Good night (3090) Bad night (1962)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  What happened to chicks over dicks?

  (1-514): View more from Quebec

  That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..

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  (514): What happened to chicks over dicks? (1-514): That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks.. http://tfl.nu/nat7
  Replies (50) Good night (8653) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.

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  (904): You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies. http://tfl.nu/5zb6
  Replies (1) Good night (2214) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.

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  (773): His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant. http://tfl.nu/ofzk
  Replies (24) Good night (2173) Bad night (4135)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.

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  (989): Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am. http://tfl.nu/mfa3
  Replies (16) Good night (5246) Bad night (1213)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.

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  (631): I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight. http://tfl.nu/8jy4
  Replies (5) Good night (1699) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"

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  (419): You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?" http://tfl.nu/acel
  Replies (7) Good night (2836) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!

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  (314): also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!! http://tfl.nu/6chb
  Replies (17) Good night (1374) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We won Spring Training 2013.

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  (609): We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them. (609): We won Spring Training 2013. http://tfl.nu/awkc
  Replies (3) Good night (805) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night

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  (630): I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night http://tfl.nu/xbyl
  Replies (1) Good night (275) Bad night (304)

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