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• (313): View more from Michigan

  so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  im trying to make cookies in the george foreman

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  God Bless cinco de mayo

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  ...Wow...

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I could be a kindergarten teacher

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j

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• (469): View more from Texas

  Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.

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• (681): View more from West Virginia

  I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion

  (743): View more from

  It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.

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