Texts From Last Night

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  (585): View more from New York

  i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW

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  (585): i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW http://tfl.nu/w5kh
  Replies (48) Good night (601) Bad night (3777)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.

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  (913): checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad. http://tfl.nu/40qb
  Replies (27) Good night (1666) Bad night (7271)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay

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  (216): there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay http://tfl.nu/f4sg
  Replies (21) Good night (3894) Bad night (1650)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night

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  (206): woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night http://tfl.nu/9u90
  Replies (14) Good night (6331) Bad night (997)
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  (607): View more from New York

  he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.

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  (607): he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too. http://tfl.nu/lk4d
  Replies (3) Good night (814) Bad night (2847)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.

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  (228): you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out. http://tfl.nu/9xp5
  Replies (19) Good night (3836) Bad night (1415)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.

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  (404): It's a bathroom floor kind of morning. http://tfl.nu/13m7
  Replies (5) Good night (2260) Bad night (1051)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them

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  (407): Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them http://tfl.nu/nkku
  Replies (7) Good night (882) Bad night (1743)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....

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  (727): pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club.... http://tfl.nu/k1jz
  Replies (2) Good night (1891) Bad night (568)
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  (589): View more from

  This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.

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  (589): This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing. http://tfl.nu/5sq0
  Replies (3) Good night (1141) Bad night (398)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.

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  (847): stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed. http://tfl.nu/vt40
  Replies (4) Good night (1195) Bad night (876)
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  (209): View more from California

  Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.

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  (209): Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER. http://tfl.nu/edtf
  Replies (11) Good night (920) Bad night (952)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?

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  (502): Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work? http://tfl.nu/ejxj
  Replies (8) Good night (845) Bad night (545)
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  (909): View more from California

  While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."

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  (909): While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run." http://tfl.nu/99ml
  Replies (1) Good night (845) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.

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  (803): I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had. (304): Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little. http://tfl.nu/dkf0
  Replies (6) Good night (1146) Bad night (389)

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