What did we do last night that was yellow?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
