I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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