If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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