so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
