Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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