i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
