I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize