And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
