508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize