Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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