Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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