Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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