chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize