your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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