I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
