i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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