How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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