zippers are such a cool invention
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
