remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
try to milk me bitch
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