Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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