if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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