Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
