Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
