belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
