do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
