My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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