Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You need Xanax blowdarts
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
