the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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