apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize