i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
