If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
