Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize