JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
