Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
