I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
