Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
