it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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